Ruthless Compassion is a philosophy that combines two seemingly contradictory concepts. It combines the loving-kindness sympathy for the fierce warrior and that is exactly why it works.
Many people today misunderstand compassion attitude “kindness,” where we feel obliged to take care of others at their own expense tolerate disrespect, and even collude with the other person’s bad behavior. We believe that there can be “average” or “rough” to others, even if it means abandoning your own needs and feelings. We forgive the unforgivable, and believe that this is a good man.
In reality, true compassion has nothing to do with being nice and doing the right thing to do for ourselves and others. The thing is that I love, but authorized, tolerant and forgiving, and this is where it comes ruthlessness.
The philosophy I suggest you allow us to take care of yourself while caring for others. It started around someone get away with insulting or disrespectful behavior, but also allowing them to experience the consequences of their choices and thus have the opportunity to learn. This is much nicer than allowing them to continue to repeat the mistake.
Rather, we believe that this “means” to be assertive, this philosophy encourages us that it is not, because the best way to learn about the people in our lives to take note the reactions of our needs and express our feelings.
Ruthless Compassion us in developing self-love and self-confidence, not to protect others from the natural consequences of their choices. For example, if you clean up the alcoholic spouse and tuck them into bed every time they binge, they will never learn the consequences of drinking and may be motivated to change.
The misunderstanding of compassion benefits no one, and ultimately ruthless compassion is more loving, even if the other person is dissatisfied with the consequences they faced. In reality, this misguided kindness, which promotes cruelty, while reducing the philosophy of loving authority.
They mistakenly believe that forgiveness is essential for life, but I think that this is not always possible or necessary. What is needed is the ability to let go. If someone is hurt or betrayed their actions can not be excused, but let the anger and pain after already recognized the validity of our experience. Forcing ourselves to forgive, if we can not (and can not) will only cause us more pain.
If the other person apologizes, which amends and promises that we could better choose to forgive, but it is not essential. It may be that we do not forgive them exactly what you need to motivate them to actually change. While we are not carrying bitterness, anger or vengefulness in our hearts, you do not have to forgive them for the sake or his own.
Ruthless Compassion about being a position of strength in our lives. It says: “No more!” exploitation, disrespect and cruelty. In practice, this means that you feel more secure in the world, and this is a kind of security is much easier to be happy and peaceful, knowing that it’ll handle whatever comes.
(C) Marcia Sirota MD 2010